


Someone In Your Corner

by TheLaughingRecord



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Crushes, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash, Spencer is a sweetheart and Luke has trust issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29016588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLaughingRecord/pseuds/TheLaughingRecord
Summary: "This stranger had no right to look so put together and relaxed at an NA meeting of all places, though the rational part of Luke’s brain understood this impulse to be nothing more than jealousy and insecurity"Spencer and Luke meet for the first time at an NA meeting.
Relationships: Luke Alvez & Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid
Comments: 2
Kudos: 79





	Someone In Your Corner

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've never written fanfiction before. Please be kind. 
> 
> Obviously this story diverges from canon because I've made Luke a drug addict, but I also couldn't remember the details of his backstory, so there's a lot about him in this story that will be different from the show. Takes place around season 11/12 just before Luke joined the team, but doesn't really deal with the content of the show at that time. I'm also no expert in drug addiction and recovery, so please keep that in mind going in. The statistic about remembering human faces came from York University. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! This is written as a one-off, but should I continue this story line?

“Is this seat taken?”

Luke Alvez looked up from where he was pointedly staring at the ground to see a tall and positively cute brunette watching him expectantly a few feet away.

“Umm… go for it”, replied Luke, unable to think of a good enough excuse to tell the man to leave. The man took his seat and faced the front of the room in a manner just casual enough to tick Luke off. He felt that this stranger had no right to look so put together and relaxed at an NA meeting of all places, though the rational part of Luke’s brain understood this impulse to be nothing more than jealousy and insecurity due to the fact he knew he himself looked quite rough after weaning off of oxycodone only 2 weeks ago. It wasn’t this stranger’s fault that he was distractingly attractive in his black button up and unbuttoned blazer combo with his hair in soft, chin length curls around his face. _No, not his fault at all_.

Luke quickly turned his gaze back to the floor and waited patiently for the meeting to start, hoping he wouldn’t be engaged in any further conversation. Of course he wasn’t so lucky.

“Hello, my name is Spencer.”

“Luke.”

“Is this your first meeting with the Clean Cops group?” asked Spencer gently. “I’ve been coming here for years and I don’t remember seeing you, although I only drop in every once in a while these days. I would remember if I’d seen you here before but it's possible we just missed each other. Did you know the human mind can remember 10 000 unique faces? Even though we might recall the appearance of the face itself we don’t necessarily remember names or other important relevant information.”

Luke had to stare at the man- Spencer- a moment to process the jumble of words that came out of him before he could respond. “Yes it’s my first meeting here, though I’ve been to some others in the area. So are you a cop then?” Luke unintentionally let some disbelief slip into his tone imagining the lanky nerdy guy next to him in a police uniform. Spencer to his credit only chuckled a bit.

“No, I’m FBI. Clean Cops luckily helps anyone in law enforcement with any substance dependency. What about you?”

“I’m actually also in the FBI. What division are you with?” asked Luke, this time genuinely curious. Luke had spent a few years in the fugitive task force and was going to be joining the Behavioural Analysis Unit in about a week’s time, which was ultimately the reason he was trying to finally kick his addiction. Spencer hesitated at the question and seemed uncomfortable for the first time. He picked at his sleeve and looked away towards a small group of men at the edge of the room. “It's okay if you don’t want to answer that. I guess that's the anonymous part, huh?”

“Something like that,” Spencer replied with a relieved if a little shy smile. “I’ll be back in a moment,” he said abruptly and walked over to the group of men, speaking to one of them and looking back at Luke periodically. He started to walk back to his seat just as the meeting started.

Luke listened intently as several people got up to speak about their addictions in varying stages of recovery. Luke noted when the older man Spencer spoke with stood up. His name was John. He was apparently also with the FBI and had struggled with alcoholism but had been sober 25 years. _Interesting_ , thought Luke. _I wonder how he knows Spencer_.

After a handful of others spoke, Spencer stood and made his way to the front of the room. Luke was slightly jealous at the ease with which Spencer could apparently bare his darkest secrets to a room full of strangers, even though that was sort of the entire point of this exercise.

“Hi, my name is Spencer and I am a narcotics addict. When I was 26, I was drugged with dilaudid several times over the course of two days. After I was rescued, I continued taking the drugs to help me deal with the mental dependency and the trauma of being held captive. I got clean after three months, but I relapsed once and had several close calls later when I was injured in the line of duty and when a few people that I loved died.” Spencer took a deep breath and Luke noticed some trembling in his hands. “I have struggled with cravings and depression a lot in the time I’ve been sober, but I’ve built a support system and I’m now nine years clean. Thank you for listening.”

There was a quick round of applause, like there was for everyone who spoke, and then Spencer was back at Luke’s side. Spencer leaned over towards Luke and asked in a whisper, “will you be speaking?” Luke shook his head no, and thankfully Spencer just nodded and didn’t inquire further. _There’s no way in hell you’re going to see me up there admitting that I was high as a kite only two and a half weeks ago,_ he thought.

The rest of the meeting passed in a similar way and Luke was startled out of a daze by everyone standing to mingle or leave.

“Would you like to get coffee with me? I know it's a bit late but I know of a cozy place that is open and probably not too busy. It's actually just down the street. I’m ah, I’m kind of a regular.” Spencer said in that endearing ramble Luke has already realized is just natural for Spencer.

Luke didn’t know what possessed him to agree, because his evening plans until then had been to have a staring contest with a pill bottle and his demons, but suddenly he was walking towards a charming cafe while Spencer spouted off facts about American coffee consumption habits as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

The two settled in at a table towards the back of the nearly empty cafe, Spencer with a vanilla latte and a brownie while Luke stuck with a black coffee and a blueberry muffin.

“So…” started Luke, not quite knowing where to start. “9 years sober? That’s quite an accomplishment.”

“It is, but honestly for the most part it’s not so bad after the first few years. It kind of just becomes normal, barring of course particularly traumatic events. So how about you?”

“Oh um, it hasn’t been very long,” Luke wasn’t quite sure why, but he took a leap and decided to trust Spencer. “It’s only been two weeks.” If Spencer was surprised or bothered by that information, he did a great job of hiding it.

“The first few weeks are pretty rough from what I remember, but you’re at least out of the withdrawal period, right?”

“In terms of physical symptoms mostly yes, but the cravings are still horrible. I also have been dealing with some other things that are making this harder than it needs to be.” Luke looked down at the table after this quiet admission.

“Hm…” Spencer hummed vaguely. “Sometimes it can help to talk to someone about what’s bothering you. Even if I will likely not be the best at giving advice,” Spencer said with that small, shy smile that made Luke’s chest hurt.

“I was in the military, but my platoon was attacked. My best friend Phil died and I was diagnosed with PTSD. After that, I joined the FBI in the fugitive task force and dealt with the PTSD as well as I could on my own. 5 months ago I was shot in the shoulder and they prescribed me pain medication, but I never stopped taking them. I kept taking more and more, but now I just want to get better before I start a new job next week. It’s a really big deal for me and I don’t want to mess up. The stress of all the things that have happened in the last few years along with starting this new job… well it’s made me realize that maybe it really isn’t the best time to be getting clean. But I’m sure there’s never really a good time for it.”

Spencer smiles wryly. “Probably not. Although there’s never a great time to be a drug addict either.” Spencer becomes serious before speaking again. “But don’t discount the amount that emotional stress can affect your recovery. The only time I relapsed was when a man I loved like a father vanished from my life for good. Be forgiving with yourself and let yourself feel all the things your mind wants you to feel. Running away from your emotions can be a surefire way of letting yourself turn to drugs as an escape. I’m pretty much an expert in that practice myself.”

Luke was a little stunned to get such an honest and heartfelt answer from the shy, seemingly unaffected man. “I… thank you.” Spencer just smiled in reply and turned back to his coffee, allowing Luke to do the same.

After a few moments, Spencer seemed to hesitate at the lull in conversation. Seemingly he made whatever decision he had silently toiled with because he looked Luke in the eye and started to speak again. “Luke… earlier when you asked what department of the FBI I worked in, there was another reason I didn’t answer besides anonymity. I work for the Behavioural Analysis Unit. I read your file earlier this week and recognized you as the agent that is transferring into our team next Monday.”

Luke quickly cycled through several emotions in response to that revelation, first shock at being lied to by omission, then fear as for what this could mean for his job, and then anger at being deceived. There was also a quiet self loathing Luke attempted to squash down, both for not being able to spot Spencer’s duplicity and _god of course he was lying, why else would this beautiful, intelligent stranger be so kind to a pathetic drug addict like himself?_

The emotion Luke settled on was anger and he stood up quickly enough to make the legs of his chair squeak. “What was this then?” Luke asked quietly, but with no small amount of heat. “A way to get under my skin, find something to use against me later? A way to embarrass me? I’m perfectly capable of doing my job and I don’t appreciate you stabbing me in the back before I even start.”

As Luke turned to flee the cafe feeling something burning at the backs of his eyes, Spencer spoke up, waving his hands nearly frantic. “No no no, Luke, I promise I have no intentions of using anything you told me against you. Just as I hope you don’t use anything I told you against me.” Spencer looked at Luke pointedly and Luke sat down again, understanding suddenly that they both had a lot to lose. “I had no idea you were going to be at the meeting tonight, and everything I said in there and afterwards was the truth. I promise I only want to be your friend. And I didn’t tell you who I was at the meeting because I didn’t want to scare you away.”

Unable to find something to say to that, Luke just looked away.

Spencer sighed and pulled a pen and a small notebook from his messenger bag. “I want to be your friend because I know firsthand how difficult recovery is alone. It makes all the difference knowing there’s someone in your corner, and I didn’t know what that felt like until I met my sponsor, John, who I only met after I was ten months sober. You don’t have to do this alone.” Spencer scribbled something on the paper and pushed it towards Luke. It was a phone number with the name ‘Spencer’ scrawled underneath. “You will get my number again in about a week’s time, but if you need someone to talk to between now and then- anytime- don’t hesitate to call. If I don’t hear from you between now and then, it was wonderful meeting you and I look forward to doing it again. Good luck Luke.”

And with that Spencer smiled and was gone, leaving behind only the slip of paper and a ten dollar bill for the food Luke had no recollection of him setting down. Luke put the slip in his pocket before leaving, feeling just a little lighter than he did before.


End file.
